Vacancy
by Castalyne
Summary: Drabbles and one shots done for Memes' and contests held mostly at Livejournal. Kink, Gen, Requests, various pairings, various ratings.
1. Hole in the Head: Yamato and Team 7

**Hole in the Head**

**Characters:** Yamato and Team 7

**Written for: **Naruto_Contest, week 54 Need

**Rating:** K+ , Maybe a T for some language

* * *

He made threats with it, but Yamato never once had to lock team 7 in the wood prison. Until Uchiha Sasuke affiliated himself with Konoha, tarnishing Yamato's two year record within moments of his return to team 7 ranks. Despite Sasuke having his chakra sealed, one glance, even in passing, was all it took for Naruto to fly off the rim and down Sasuke's throat. Words never helped either way.

'Be nicer to Sai, don't treat Sakura chan that way, Yamato is your sensei just as much as Kakashi is, don't look down your nose at me, Teme.'

It was always enough to restrain the two, all warnings aside, in the mokuden prison. It kept everyone else protected well enough, and despite not having access to his lustrous capabilities, Sasuke still had the speed and grace to dodge Naruto's rage filled attacks even within the strong wooden confinements.

Yamato needed all of this like he needed a hole in the head. Remarks from the peanut gallery were always unappreciated.

'I think its penis envy.'

'Why does it always boil down to that with you? They're equals now.'

'So you have been in the men's locker room? Tsk, tsk, Sakura chan, I thought you knew better.'

At least Sakura could handle Sai. She was always less lenient with that one, unlike her two more competitive team mates, watching them scrap behind bars with a reminiscing smile. Yamato didn't want to know nor did he pretend to understand.

When explaining his actions later to Yamato around the camp fire before his official watch shift would start, Naruto would never fail to remind Yamato how important Sasuke was to him, things wouldn't be the same at all without him, and team 7 needed him. All Yamato needed right now was a hard drink.


	2. Before You Go: Sai and Naruto

**Before You Go**

**Characters:**Sai and Naruto

**Written for:** Naruto_Meme, Kink Meme

**Rating:** M, NC-17

* * *

What was wrong with him...letting Sai pull him over to his kneeling position and brush his lips against his in a very timid manner that made him shudder in fear and arousal. Bandages, at this point, were lost, unwinding on the floor when Sai made needy grasps at Naruto.

"I don't understand.'" Sai's voice was soft and dark, like the ink he used. 'She could have killed you... if I didn't intervene... Why do you go so far for Sasuke?'

"He's my friend..." Was the soft reply. "You... wouldn't understand."

"I... want to."

And maybe it was the fingers lightly tracing his groin that made Naruto pull back, or it could have been the eyes that gazed up at him with such care and want that had him shifting backwards on the cot.

Naruto watched Sai's head drop to his inner thigh, Sai's hands calmly dropping to his own lap as he rested there for a moment. It tugged at Naruto's heart in such a way that made him brush his fingers over that dark hair, softly twisting the locks around his fingertips. Then he chuckled softly.

"You find this funny?" The man between his legs shot him an agitated glare, but returned his smile when the blonde shook his head with a snort.

"Ehhh, I find it almost endearing, ya idiot."

Sai was clutching Naruto's leg in his hands now. "Why do you go so far for him?"

"Friends do that for each other."

A cock of an eyebrow. "Your.... willing to sacrifice your own life for someone who's hurt you more times than you're willing to admit?"

Naruto jammed his fingers into soft ebony hair, gently pushing Sai's head to his thigh and sighing, running a hand down Sai's neck, to Sai's shoulder, Naruto gave him a gentle squeeze.

"We could talk about this all day... and you'd still be a clueless as ever." Naruto huffed.

"..I'd do the same thing for you...."

"Sai..."

"Strange of me really.... to think..."

Sai was cut off by the softest touch of lips, an intrusion of tongue an urging press of hands.

"Make it quick, I leave in 10 minutes."

Then Naruto was unzipping his pants pushing them down around his ankles next to Sai, watching him gulp as Naruto presented him with a new task at hand: Tending to the half swollen desire between Naruto's legs.

A questioning quirk of lips and eyebrows, a slight nod of blonde hair and Sai immediately licked the tip of soft pink flesh that continued to harden with every stroke of tongue.

It caused a little inner turmoil for Naruto, watching his own cock disappear inside soft lips, reappearing from the wet orifice to have the head nibbled and licked, feeling so much for and from the man who could feel nothing but was desperately trying to make Naruto feel something ...ANYTHING... for him.

A sharp intake of breath on Naruto's part, tears forming at the corners of his eyes as he focused on the slanted roof of the tent. Clutching Sai's hair in tense fingers, he felt the artists hands move to his to gently hold them as he continued to work the swollen arousal in his mouth.

God it was good. When he wasn't making so many mistakes with formatives, nicknames and tact, Sai really knew how to use his tongue. The slightly raised seal pressing against his members head every time it swept upwards with his lips caused a low moan to escape his throat.

"Sai..."

Humming in reply, Sai looked upwards, Naruto's penis popping out of wet lips as Sai's hand went to replace where his mouth had been, and jerking and drying the saliva coated flesh in his palm.

"I'm sorry..."

Naruto didn't say anything else after that, running his hands to Sai's hair, feeling it move up and down against his cock. It was too much, the gentle suction, the fingertips lightly touching the base of his penis before Sai groped the sack just below. His body trembled when Sai's other hand pushed up over his Kyuubi seal, fingers dragged downwards to rest on Naruto's thigh, pulling Naruto's leg over his shoulder.

Sai out did himself there, taking Naruto deep into his mouth, with an almost strangled attempt. Naruto felt his Sai's throat constrict in a wretch before he pulled up to the cock head, lips parted over it in a gentle kiss than going down again.

Naruto felt his heart racing in his rib cage. Sai's eyes closed, the corners of his mouth up turned in the faintest of smiles and it was all over when Sai moaned on Naruto's cock, the hot seed shooting deep into Sai's throat in two quick spurts.

"You lasted longer than I expected." Sai cooed, after licking away the semen from Naruto's softening member.

Naruto grunted with a smile, but it faded as when he remembered the task at hand.

"You know I still have to go after him..."

He was rewarded with kiss to his inner thigh. "I know.... even though I still don't understand."

Leaning forward with pleasure weakened appendages barely supporting his body, Naruto met Sai half way and pressed his lips to Sai's forehead, just before Sai pulled him into a hot kiss pulling back long enough to bite his lip.

"You should go now..."


	3. Family Values: Itachi, Madara and Sasuke

**Family Values**

**Characters: **Itachi and Madara Uchiha with mentions of Sasuke

**Written for:** Naruto_Meme, Gen Meme

**Rating: **NC-17 for mentions of violence

* * *

"Why, hello there, Itachi!" The greeting was far too warm for Itachi, considering what he'd just done.

Looking upwards revealed his masked company perched low in the branches causally waving his fingers in a wiggle that had Itachi scowling inwardly.

"So you'll leave him alone, right?" Itachi promptly replied, deactivating the Sharingan and rubbing his temples, barely acknowledging the movements of the man who had introduced himself a few days back as Madara Uchiha.

A rough pat on the back from the devil himself had Itachi stumbling forward to gain his balance against the rough back of an elder tree. Placing his forearms against the trunk, Itachi leaned his forehead against them, panting with exhaustion, hearing his heart throb in his ears, beating frantically against the cries of his family, friends, loved ones, Sasuke...

A quirked laugh from the man behind him.

"Oh, I'LL leave him alone, Itachi." Madara giggled.

Grabbing his shoulder, Madara spun Itatchi around, catching the boys chin, he tilted it upwards. "But you do understand, young man, what you've just done?"

"It was..." He had no energy left, arms frozen at his side, legs heavy with knees shaking, no way to defend himself. 'To protect him...' Barely, in the darkness, Itachi could see the gleam of Madara's single Sharinganed eye, black and red, black and red, spinning like Itachi's whole world. "...You don't scare me."

"I wouldn't expect that from someone such as yourself." Madara moved his hand to Itachi's hair to ruffle it, something akin to friendly, yet...

"Stop that." The young man demanded. "I've kept my end of the bargain, just... keep yours okay?"

Faintly, he heard HIM calling and turning his head towards the road that ran through the Uchiha compound's front gates confirmed that his younger brother had followed, soaked in blood, sweat and tears, shaking in fear and anger with a finger pointed in accusation.

Madara was gone when Itachi turned back, leaving him alone to face his brother with a heavy heart to recite the first words that came to his mind.

"Become stronger." Itachi murmured, passing Sasuke without a second glance only to catch a glimpse of, what Itachi thought anyways, Madara jumping in the tree tops. "Do that for me, little brother."


	4. In Passing: Naruto and Ame

**In Passing**

**Characters:** Naruto and Ame (fan character, Sai and Sakura's daughter.)

**Written for:** Naruto_contest week 52 Death

**Rating:** NC-17

* * *

Naruto was never the best at delivering bad news, bearing it was even harder as he approached the doorway of a now dearly departed friend, the man in questions ANBU mask in a bag at his hip. Carefully, Naruto rapped on the door and when Sai's 16 year old daughter, Ame, cracked the door open and peered out blearily, Naruto smiled a slanted grin.

'Hokage-san?' She quirked an eyebrow, crinkled her nose. 'Don't you... have paper work?'

'May I come in Ame?' Naruto shifted his glance inside the apartment the girl shared with her parents, the grim reminder of the large stack if paper on his desk, with Sai's death certificate right on top. 'Saku... your mother home?'

Ame shook her head and stepped back from the door, letting her parents' childhood friend in, watching the flames of his cloak whish by her, Ame followed him inside.

'It's not mandatory for the Hokage to drop by unexpected like this, is it?' Ame asked, moving back to the couch where anatomy books littered the cushions and the beat up coffee table in front of it. 'Than again, I do recall mother telling me about her sensei making house calls. What's the old bastard up to anyways?'

Naruto took a spot on the couch when the girl cleared a spot off for him, helping her shift some of the tomes and scrolls to the floor and he grinned, despite the news that bore heavily on his shoulders. Momentarily, he thought about chiding her for her language, but let it roll off him. 'Kakashi...he comes and goes as he pleases mostly. So what are you up too, kiddo?'

'Trying to pin point the exact spot on the human body that would be the most fatal if the proper blows were delivered.' Ame stated a little amused when Naruto cringed.

'You are your mother's daughter, after all' Naruto nodded, chuckling. 'And your father...'

Naruto bit his lip and when he ran his fingertips over the bag at his hip, Sai's ANBU mask inside, he glanced towards the door. Ame's gaze hardened on Naruto as she pointed to the bag. 'SO what's in the bag?'

'I think I'd rather wait until Sakura gets home.'

'Suit yourself.' Ame leaned back into the couch; flipping through the major arteries section in a book Naruto had seen Sakura frequent many a time in her youth while studying under Tsunede. 'This is fascinating stuff... one wrong hit to the right vein could cause an aneurism that could cause a whole disturbance in the balance of blood flow and the use of that appendge.'

Naruto shuddered, Ame continued in a very nonchalant tone that flowed off her tongue softly to Naruto's ear that made his heart sink. 'Veins are almost as weak as the skeletal structure... large doses of chakra extended into a fist could shatter through muscle and bone... as you may know...'

'Can you .... Stop that....' Naruto stammered, he was clenching his left wrist in the right hand, reminiscing mostly... about Sai's death, the distinct words of dismemberment... how was he suppose to have a fighting chance with both his hands cut off... Naruto forced the details back into his mind.

Ame blinked and it was her soft voice that brought Naruto back. 'Stop what?'

'Whatever you're reading..... Or thinking.' He forced a grin to his face again.

Ame smirked. 'Is a sixteen year old scaring the Hokage?'

'Given your heritage...' Naruto breathed deeply, humouring the girl. 'Sometimes I think I should be afraid more of you than either one of your parents.'

Ame rolled her eyes. 'So scare tactics won't work?'

Naruto shook his head. 'No.'

'So what's in the bag?'

'I'd rather wait for your mother to be here.'

'Why?'

'Because it's something I'd rather tell BOTH of you.'

He was never good at hiding pain, his posture gave it away and he was sure of it as Ame cocked her head and examined him with scrutinizing eyes from her perch on the cushion beside him. Ame bit her lip when Naruto glanced at her, eyes hazy and avoiding hers.

'You're not confessing to my mother again... are you?' She asked, the smile Sai had made famous crossed her lips.

'If I say yes, would you leave it at that?'

'I think I'd have to break your legs.' and when that all too familiar vacant gaze crossed her features, just as quickly as that smile had moments before, Naruto coughed nervously.

'You'd threaten the Hokage?' Naruto chuckled cheeks flushing, Ame shifting into a kneeling position next to his leg.

'You'd withhold information from a girl in her own home?'

'Do you ever stop asking questions?'

'How am I supposed to learn if I stay quiet?'

'God damn it, you're just like him.' He threw his hands up and let them fall to his temples, trying to relive some of the stress that bunched there since stepping through the door.

Ame reached forward and brushed her knuckles against the bag, a clinking, musical noise sounded back, making Ame crinkle her nose.

'Judging by sound and shape alone... that's an ANBU mask.' Ame guessed, narrowing her eyes and then bit her lip. 'What are you doing with one of those, Naruto san?'

'What makes you think it's one of those?' He asked defensively, waving a hand at her.

'The hokage doesn't' carry around pottery.' Ame nodded once, matter of fact. 'No one does for that matter.'

Carefully, he pulled the possession from the bag, sighing as he closed his eyes and he pushed it towards Ame, who still remained kneeled by his leg on the couch. Her features shifted from perplexed, confused, than sortful. When He heard a sharp intake of breath, Naruto felt his heart seize. Ame's brow furrowed, her lower lip pouted and when she looked back up at him, Naruto could see the tears brimming her eyes.

'This is...' She started and let out a long ragged breath that hitched in her throat.

'I'm sorry, Ame.' Naruto said quietly.

'How....'

'He was ambush...'

'Was there anything left of the body?'

'Plenty of the body left to know it...'

Turning the mask over, Naruto's breath caught in his throat as he mentally hit himself for not properly washing the mask before bringing it over. Blood where Sai's mouth and eyes would have been decorated it in a sprayed out fanned fashion and the choking sound Ame made didn't help Naruto in the slightest.

'Ame, he knew the nature of the mission...'

'And YOU let him GO.' Her voice was surprisingly calm, but her eyes betrayed her control.

'It's not like I forced him.' Naruto added in argument, though he knew as the Hokage, fighting with a girl half his age was probably the most immature thing he could be doing, considering what he just handed to her.

'You issued it.' Ame handed him back the mask, her fingers shaking as she gripped it with both hands. 'Here.'

'It's yours.' Naruto offered, 'We'll have his remains shortly.'

He was pretty sure it was lost on Ame as she drew the mask back to her body, tracing her fingertips over the porcelain. The face of confusion, anger, lost emotion and those eyes... too much like Sakura's when they filled with tears...

'Is there... anything I c....?'

'No.' She said firmly, though her voice started to waver with her next words as she sniffled. 'You wanted to be here for my mother right?'

Naruto nodded, though he wasn't sure if Ame saw him or not, but he reached over and gripped her arm, feeling her flinch. Forcing the mask back to Naruto's lap, he saw her body jump in hiccup, saw the tear's fall and felt that same bile rise in his throat as he watched her dart to the bathroom, vomiting with loud crashing sobs that tore Naruto apart from the stomach, outwards.


	5. What Time Are We Upon: Sai Vs Lust

**What Time are we Upon**

**Characters**:Sai and Lust

**Written for: **Request

**Rating: **M, NC-17

* * *

His eyes roamed her body shamelessly, caught up on her breasts, full hips, her legs. Tight black pleather clinging everywhere on her body, he felt himself growing hot and bothered at the sight before him. That curved red mark sparked the image of his own on his tongue and the most peculiar image of lapping at the woman's breasts just before bedding her danced in his head. She softly ran a finger over the mark when she caught his eyes trace over it. She caught his pupils dilating at the action as he ripped his vision from her tantalizing curves to catch her glance in a heated glare like molten lava.

'I'm Lust.' She drawled smiling as Sai gulped deeply, his throat dry and parched. 'And I understand you currently go by 'Sai'.'

'Lust... isn't a name.' Sai corrected her as well as himself, his posture straightening, forcing his vacant facade to his features. 'It's a feeling of strong desire, sometimes sexual in nature.'

She laughed, the rhythmic fluid sounds bouncing off the walls around them. Before Sai could blink, even assess the situation with an almost clear mind, she had him pressed up against the wall, nearly ripping the breath from his lungs.

'Smart boy, you're quite the little dictionary. You and I... we're similar.' She breathed, her fingers wiggled before his face. 'We're both being held back from reaching our full potential.'

The extension of nails grazed his cheek; a sideways glance had him breaking out in a light sweat at the sight of dark blades piercing the wall next to his face. His heart was racing quicker by the minute, even Sai was unsure if it was his fear or...

Her thigh was between his legs, pressing against him almost uncomfortably. Growling at the intrusion of space, but unable to push away.

'What do you feel?' She breathed, retracting her nails, raising a brow suggestively. 'Aside from...'

Glancing down, Sai met her stare as he mentally cursed himself for the betrayal of his own body. She laughed again as he bit his lip and scowled at his own lack of self control.

'I feel nothing.' A blatant lie from a man who was trained to do it so flawlessly.

'For a ROOT member,' she glanced down again and smirked. 'You're emotions are too erratic, perhaps you've been made too soft.'

Her fingers brushed across his cheek, running down his neck, over his chest, down his stomach to rest on the hem of his pants. She let her fingers run around the edge, dangerously close to setting him off on an emotional breakdown of the most erotic kind.

'I can give you anything you want.' Her voice was thick, soft and sultry in his ear and it was so much more pleasing than the harsh tones that were used with him so often. 'But I need you to do me a little favour.'

She slipped the ring into his hand, Lust nipped at Sai's ear playfully drawing back at a good arms length away. Perplexed, Sai blinked twice before looking at the red jewelled ring, eyeing it blankly before furrowing his brow at the woman in front of him.

'I...'

'The philosophers stone kid.' Lust breathed. 'Give it a whirl.'

'...Will have to decline your proposal.' Sai thrust his hand back towards her. 'We've just met; I can't make that kind of commitment. The only commitment I have is a mission to kill your kind.'

'Don't be an idiot.' She sighed, crossing her arms just under her full chest, pushing her ample cleavage up, taunting Sai's vision and self control. It wasn't long before Sai was blushing furiously with his arm still stretched out but the appendage seemed to go a little slack as his eyes went down cast.

'Do you know what that thing does?'

'It serves as an amplifier.' Sai stated, composing himself enough to strengthen the bend in his arm. 'Made from the countless lives of innocents.'

'I'd expect nothing less from the Ink Alchemist.'

'Shinobi...' He corrected but she silenced him with soft stroke of his hair, a finger to his lip.

He dare not move, he was well aware of her speed and grace and those hands... those hands with those nails that could stab out his eyes, cut out his tongue.

'All that had to be done was a small sacrifice of a small temple of 70 monks just of the boarder of your village.'

His eyes widened, lips parted as his eyebrows shot up, Sai gulped deeply.

'I'm giving you an advantage for when those who oppose Konoha come for your village.' Lust's hand was tangled in his hair. 'Akatsuki is a force you should not tread lightly with. The same applies to the revenge of the Uchiha in their company. His thirst for the stone surpasses any of those I've ever met so whether you use this or not, keep it.'

A soft touching of lips and Lust was gone, but her lingering effects still plagued Sai's body.


	6. Snark Shark: Naurto, Sasuke and Suigetsu

**Snark Shark**

**Characters:** Naruto, Sasuke and Suigetsu, mentions of Sai

**Written for:** Naruto_Meme, Gen meme

**Rating:** K+ , Maybe a T for some language

* * *

Naruto was stubborn and had grown a little self righteous since Sasuke's return and immediately expected everything to return to the way it was prior to his best friend leaving.

Needless to say, it had him blowing hot steam out his ears when he saw two figures approaching him that day in the training field when it was only suppose to be one. The Uchiha had the other man tucked under his arm in a friendly way that had Naruto stomping his foot into the ground and pointing menacingly towards Sasuke's new companion.

"Who do we have here?" Naruto crooned, nostrils flaring, both new arrivals wearing the same quirked grins.

Sasuke chuckled with his friend. "This, Naruto, is Suigetsu. He was traveling with me during the past few months. I'd thought it'd only be common courtesy to introduce you two."

It could have been the wave, the twiddling of his fingers on his left hand, or the way Suigetsu stuck out his tongue through pointed teeth, but Naruto knew he just didn't like the guy... or the way Sasuke had his arm around the new guy, the nerve of Sasuke!

"It was supposed to be just you and me, Sasuke!" Naruto stamped his foot aggressively to the grass, grinding his toes downwards into the earth.

That pat to the head compliments of Suigetsu had Naruto reaching out for the man's throat in a blood thirsty manner.

"Calm down, Dobe." Sasuke placed a hand on Naruto's chest and he was smiling when he did it too, SMILING. 'There's no need for that...'

"I think he's jealous." Suigetsu poked a finger directly to Naruto's forehead, completely unconcerned with the hands grabbing at him.

"And you're not making this any better.' Sasuke interjected, still grinning like a mad man. 'Really Naruto! Why must you expect things from me that you can't do yourself? You speak of wanting it to be just you and me training today, and you bring my replacement!"

Naruto quirked his eyebrow, stopping his hand whapping at Suigetsu, leaning into Sasuke's hand and inspecting his face for clarity. Sighing, Sasuke nodded just off to Naruto's right.

'Really, don't mind me, Uchiha-san.' Sai bowed to the three. 'I was just curious as to what the Little Penis Committee discusses during their meetings.'


	7. Eyes are Open: Neji and Hinata

Neji marveled at the thought of delivering that killing blow without evening touching her, only a well-placed manoeuver of his palm a small distance from her chest. Just over her too soft heart and she fell over on her back with a muffled thud. He didn't even spill her blood, though she did cough up a fair amount when her body hit the ground and it ran down her cheek and back towards her ears and hair.

He stood motionless and his eyes glanced down at her. Despite the room having more than enough on lookers, he heard nothing except a ringing in his ears, but not loud enough for him to miss a soft cry from the dying body at his feet.

"Neji...Nii san." She gasped, coughed and let out a rattled breath that was possibly her last.

For the briefest of moments Neji resisted the urge to kneel beside her, stroke her face and swear his allegiance to her like he did when he was small. Maybe even apologize for the agony but was snapped back when he remembered that if this wasn't his destiny, someone would have stopped him. 5 sensai's hovered near by and Hinata had held a hand to them, insisted she could do this, that she could win. When that obnoxious blond guy started running his mouth, well, that sealed her fate.

Neji stood straight, bowed slightly to the wide eyed judges and trudged off towards the door, not before catching Hinata's eyes go blank with death as the Byakugan faded from her temples. Somewhere, beyond the first explosive roar of complaints, he could hear the shouts of Naruto Uzamaki as he followed Neji from the balcony above.

"You don't stand a chance if I'm next, believe it."

Everything else this Naruto character had to say was cut off as Neji slid out the doors and headed towards one of the meeting rooms down the hall. Let everyone think he was just as crazy as that kid who carried the gourd or as vengeful as the Uchiha prodigy. No one would think he was soft when he closed the door behind himself and let the tears begin to flow freely. 


End file.
